just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
her vagine was all disorganized.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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