So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
