We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No subtext here. People are naked.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Drake has all the answers
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
