No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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