Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
