i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
