I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
