Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
