Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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