And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
