Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
