thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
