Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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