i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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