I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
