I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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