No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
