he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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