11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
