Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
