Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Come on in and take your pants off
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