i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish i was in the wii world.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
