I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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