Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
