Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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