You're completely useless in the revolution.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
