conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
