you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
