your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
