If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
