You made me cry and you don't even care
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I want a musical about memes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
