You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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