I hate your face
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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