This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
