I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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