That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
