He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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