ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
