look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
