All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Screwed.edu
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
