his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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