im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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