i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
