For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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