I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
