He had one of those small greek statue penises
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
