there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
