we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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