I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
