is your mom at the bar?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
