I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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